Transformational Pleasure

By Melissa Fritchle LMFT Holistic Sex Therapist and Educator

Keep the Holidays Sexy!


You Can Fit Sex Into Your Holidays!

Yes, even you parents. I know it can be overwhelming this time of year, with even more social obligations and things on the to-do list. But it can also be a time of year when we can shake up the day to day and be creative about the way we spend our time. Still thinking, not me I am just too darn busy for my own pleasure? It’s all about prioritizing. Here are some ideas:

Single? Email the office HR coordinator and suggest that all the single folks bring another single date to the holiday party. OK, maybe this won’t result in sex that night, but it will at last increase the sexual energy and flirtation. I mean, how exciting is it to see the same people from the cubicle down the hall? Much more exciting to meet their single friend. And this year, include in your errands a trip to a good sex toy store, maybe online. There are some pretty amazing ways to treat yourself to some solo pleasure. Set a date with yourself for one of those long nights, and explore.

Are you a parent? Arrange to trade babysitting time with another family so that you parents can shop or run errands without the little ones. Any parent will be on board for this, since trying to run errands with the kids is ten times as hard. Then get your shopping done an hour or two early and use the time for a sensual date with your sweetie. Or heck, do all your shopping online and use the entire time for sex, who will know? Also, if you are getting a sitter for a holiday party consider getting a hotel room for the end of the night. You can leave the party early (believe me no one will remember a month from now), have some private time and still get home in time for the sitter. Grandparents, aunties and uncles in town? Give them some one on one time with the kids while you get one on one time with your sweetie. For you, asking other people to give you some time is key. And remember, you don’t have to tell anyone what you were doing while they watched the kids.

Family visits in the plans? Enjoy some frustration. No, I mean sexually, try playing with sexual limits and the pleasurable kind of frustration from sexual energy building. Pull your partner into the bathroom or a hidden corner in the yard and make out for a few minutes. Return flushed and happier. Practice quiet sex in your old childhood bedroom; stifle your moans and let your breath tell the story. It can be fun when you don’t have to do it all the time. These ideas feel too risky? No problem, keep a text conversation going in which you describe what you hope to do together when you get some privacy or whisper in each other’s ears now and then.

Get creative! You don’t need to let sex fade into the forgotten background of everything else you think you have to do. I promise you it is possible to carve out time for something good for you and good for your relationship. Added bonus, orgasms boost our immune system so you may just avoid the dreaded holiday cold. Good luck out there and keep it sexy!


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