We are so conditioned to strive for sexiness in our culture, we rarely doubt its value. Being sexy is a good thing, no need to ask ourselves why. But I am inviting you to take a moment and ask yourself what being "sexy" means to you and what value you place on it. Use this just to explore your own mind or to question social expectations, just take the time to be curious.
Respond to these prompts:
Being "sexy" means a person is...
Being "not sexy" means a person is..
I believe a sexy person has these characteristics...
I imagine a sexy person's life is...
I am sexy when I...
This year for Valentine’s Day – whether you are currently coupled or not – take time to think about what you have learned about love and how you learned it. Use your journaling time to remember your exes. Yes, love lost is a part of the bigger picture of romance and has a lot to do with the love you have to offer now.
Your Valentine’s challenge (should you choose to accept it) is to write a letter to each of your significant exes – not to send, just to write for yourself. How you define a significant relationship is up to you. It could be the person you were married to for 8 years or the unrequited crush you had all through 8th grade. Who do you think has shaped your story of love? – the first people who come to mind are the ones you should write to.
Structure the letter around these 3 prompts:
Thanks you so much for the role you played in my life. Because of you I learned …
I wish that at the time I had been better at….and I am sorry that…
The things I loved about who I was when I was around you were…
Write as sincerely as you can. Remember you are not going to share this with the person, so no power struggles. This is for you, so that you can be the person you want to be in relationship, so that you can recapture some of your early romantic inspiration, so that you can be open to love that is available for you now. Love takes more than cards, jewelry and flowers; It takes awareness and personal growth. It is worth the effort. Happy Valentine’s Day.